Lola Aryang

1 March 2023

Dearest Lola Aryang,

It’s your 123rd birthday. Unsure if you have reincarnated already but I feel your presence.

It’s metaphysical.

Around 4 years ago, I downloaded this photo of you. Tita Nila sent it, I think. I was happy to see your face again. Never forgot it but it’s different to see it in front of me.

Several years ago, it dawned on me that you are my guide.  I am grateful that you never left.

My childhood was happy and one of the reasons was your presence.  It wasn’t loud nor nagging. It was quiet and caring. You were my constant at home. My safe space.

I remember going through your cabinet and found several dresses still new because you never used them. You often wore an old dress with another skirt (or apron) on top. It was already old that’s why my aunts and uncles gave you new ones. But you didn’t wear the gifts.

I didn’t really understand before how you are related to us. But now I fully understand. Not by blood but by love.

You and my great grand lolo didn’t have children. You were his second wife. I heard your husband had other ladies.

Nevertheless, you treated us like your own.

My feet and hands already sweated unusually since I was young. My feet also got cold easily despite the warm Imus weather. I remember putting up my feet on your lap. You would dry the sweat off and try to warm them. This while Noel and I played.

I remember when the ice cream vendor passed by and I wanted one but I wasn’t given money so I locked myself in the my room. You tried to woo me and said you’ll buy one for me.

They said I was your favorite although I didn’t feel that nor did I take advantage of it.

But now I do. You chose to be my guide. I love you very much, Lola.